A tinge of guilt

a little early to start blogging today.

anyway feeling a little guilty and emoish today =[ supposed to be attending a pt training now but just skipped anyway. and this comes after i promised that i would be more active in bb activities. haiz =[ i would of course attend usual parades, but im too slack to come for trainings.....'sigh'....

i honestly regret joining my cca, but i have to make the best out of it. its really really difficult when u dont have a passion for something you do =( haiz just when i was improving my relationship with my cca friends =[ oh well, i guess ppl lyk shen zhen will also skip anyway....but haiz....

anyway i was feeling rather glad in school today because i got 49/60 for my paper 1. i wish mdm Norliza didnt announce it because everyone turned and gave me this o.0 look. anyway this turned out to be the turning point of this exams because i secured my A2 for english =] i guess the teacher was really impressed. after every paragraph theres a tick, and after every tick she put 'gd!'. then she wrote ' you have proven that you have an excellent grasp of global and local issues'. wow i was rather flattered, but i know its not exactly the case because i didnt get an a1 for ss =.= anyway we sort of got back our EOY report today. managed to defend my position in class. =] turns out Darren fell to 6th in class, jessie replaced him. haiz lost by 4 marks to her upon 800....it was an uphill fight anyway.... she got like 97 for A math and 99 for e math :o then jiahong, which im finally reunited with, kept talking about how he could beat Darren, with just a few more marks for each of his sciences. haha =]

anyway i secured my aims for this year....to get top 50 in level, to be a more friendly person who can get along with others ( compared to 2007), and i think i can reach runescape level 90 by year end =] last year my results were terrible..213 in level. but i never believed that i was a failure. i never believed that i was a down-trodden person.

From the moment i got into 3H i felt that i sort of had a motivation that would not fade. i felt that it was because of my DnT , home econs and art that were dragging me into the pithole, and i wanted to prove to my parents. myself, that i was not a failure in life.

to all aspiring ppl out there:
have no fear.have faith in yourself, and your faith will reward you one day.believe in yourself, and do not put yourself down. Nothing can stop a heart and will that unites in their determination to succeed.

even if you are successful, do not be complacent. arrogance will destroy you. motivate yourself and others to climb to greater heights in life, and you will find out the true meaning of life. =] there is always room for improvement. yes, it refers to everyone. including YOU.